Nationals Baseball: Slightly More than 581

Thursday, November 08, 2012

Slightly More than 581

While watching the election unfold exactly how survey data said it would was fun (I work with surveys all the time. There's a reason people do them. They are usually right.), I'm taking this voting back for the windbags.  I've gathered no data, polling exactly 0 voters for the BBWAA   I've unskewed it by using a complex method mixing cast chicken bones (wings only), the pattern of the Jager at the bottom of my shot glass, and "what I feel like at the time". Here are my forecasted results for the NL voting.

NL Rookie of the Year 

Miley takes the solid NL West vote, his home state of Louisiana, and surprisingly Utah, where the Mormon fanbase has been turned off by Bryce since he wore the "Suns Out, Guns Out" tank top instead of their special underwear. Frazier takes NJ, as a member of the Toms River LLWS Champs. He also gets the Reds block, plains states that don't like Bryce's in-your-face attitude, and Georgia, where Braves fans still think he's overrated and Heyward and Freeman are just as good.  Bryce though is super cool and everyone else realizes it. He easily wins his home state and his rugged individualism plays particularly well in the mountain west. He sweeps the rest and takes the easy victory.

Miley (purple) : 89
Frazier (red) : 109
Bryce (eye black) : 340

NL Manager of the Year


Baker gets most of the Reds block, along with Florida, where seniors sympathize with his health issues, and Missouri who have lingering Davey issues from the '80s and also have such ego with the Cardinals that they assume any coach that can win the Central over their team must be some sort of a genius. Bochy and the Giants still play big in the Western states, who frankly are happy when anyone keeps the Dodgers out of the playoffs. He also surprisingly pulls in Pennsylvania, where the western part of the state is still in shock Clint Hurdle wasn't nominated and the eastern part is full of bitter Phillies fans who refuse to vote for a former Mets coach that now coaches the Nats. It's not enough. Davey's curmudgeonly ways are exactly what most of the country want in a manager. It's an easy win.

Baker (red) : 76
Bochy (orange) : 137
Johnson (yellow) : 325

NL Cy Young


You can't see it, but Gio does take DC.  Kershaw doesn't even get the usual NL West vote, instead he pulls in only the strict "East Coast Bias!!11!1!s" trio of CA, OR, and WA.  The rest of the country understands that a fast throwing knuckleballer is totally cool and should totally win. Totally. It's a Reagan-esque domination.

Gio (red?) : 3
Kershaw (blue) : 74
Dickey (orange) : 461

NL MVP 

Braun only takes Wisconsin because everyone else thinks he's a big dumb cheater. Molina gets Missouri and Texas who refuses to vote for anyone from the liberal bastion of San Francisco. McCutheon wins the college educated areas of the country who understand his low fielding stats are obviously an issue of annual variability and really question any use of fielding skills when evaluating catchers versus other players. Also they think Braun is a big dumb cheater. Still Posey's boyish charm is too strong to overcome.  Oh wait, Chase Headley! Uhhhh... yeah.

Headley (a scarlet so deep and red it would make you cry if you saw it. God's color, really) : 0
Braun (blue) : 10
Molina (red) : 48
McCutheon  (yellow) : 180
Posey (orange) : 300

12 comments:

Zimmerman11 said...

This was fantastic. Great, funny stuff. Have you seen the Nate Silver Meme heating up now? Nate Silver's Samples only have a meadian and a mode, because numbers would never be mean to Nate Silver LOL

http://i.imgur.com/R2KrN.jpg

Zimmerman11 said...

@Smedette: Nate Silver can recite Pi. Backwards. #NateSilverFacts

@clarklab: Statistical margin of error will now be referred to as “Distance from Nate” #natesilverfacts

LetsGoNats said...

Great post. Very enjoyable. I agree with you on all four awards and makes your realize why giants won series.

Unknown said...

Been a reader for years, and I agree, this is funny stuff.

But someone will have to explain to me why it's okay to make fun of the Mormon Religion?

If he was Muslim, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have mentioned their unique clothing, right?

I have kind of a unique perspective on this. I was Muslin for 20 years and have been Mormon for 30. I personally don't notice the barbs and don't care. But the willingness to poke fun at some religions, but not others, and some cultures and races, but not others, makes me wonder.

I covered a couple of Nats' games for my paper here in Idaho back in May and got to spend an hour in the locker room and meet some of the guys.

I was wearing my BYU-Idaho shirt. Bryce walked by, saw the shirt, came back, pointed at it and said, "Bro, cool" or something like that.

That was the night of his first homer.

No, he's not your prototypical Mormon, but he's Mormon.

Don't get me wrong; you did nothing wrong. That said, the more journalists say things like this, the more their readers think it's okay.

I wear the funny underwear. I used to wear the Middle Eastern garb when I lived in Beirut.

If you make fun of one, you have to make fun of the other or that says something like "one group is inferior to others."

That said, still enjoy reading your stuff. Just thought you may light a perspective from someone you innocently poked fun at.

Farid Rushdi

Harper said...

z11 - It's funny but just like Chuck Norris isn't the toughest man in the world, Silver isn't the smartest. Though again - funny so whatever.

Let's go Nats - having an MVP caliber player at catcher is a big advatange. A lot of team will just take whatever they can get at that position.

Hey it's you! Farid - It's a distinctive characteristic that distinguishes him from other athletes. (yes - plenty of Mormon athletes, but it still a small enough number that it distinguishes) It's also a distinguishing characteristic for the state of Utah. Since I was doing a state by state thing it kind of just came together in a way that I think I covered with fairly gentle humor (I didn't even say "funny underwear" I said "special"). So I suppose if there were a super Muslim heavy state I may have mentioned something I thought was equally innocuous. (A disappearing wad of big league chew during the day of fast? I don't know... I'm working off the top of my head here) Is that ok? I'd like to believe gentle ribbing is still "on-limits" but obviously when you are dealing with a large population of people its doubtful 100% will agree.

I don't know - this is a deep argument here about the philosophies of free speech, humor, and tolerance and how to draw lines in a society. Far too deep for the comment section of a blog. The short of it is - to everyone out there - if you find something here you don't like and is offensive, let me know and I'll take it down - this isn't meant to be my personal outlet or a humor blog (though occasionally I will stray that way), it's meant to be about baseball so there's no point in making stands.

Anonymous said...

I think Gio would take VA (at least NOVA)

Harper said...

Richmond, Charlottesville, HUGE RA Dickey fans. HUGE

PlugNPlay said...

I'm in Woodbridge and a Nats fan and I would vote for Dickey.

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